Longtime Witchfork contributor Boris Cloven Kennedy-de Maria has reportedly been consumed by Victauria Meadow while conducting a feature interview for the magazine on Friday morning. Law officials say Cloven Kennedy de-Maria sent an "SOS" text to a close friend about twenty minutes after his scheduled meet-up with the up-and-coming centaurian musical artist and was unresponsive to the friend's subsequent attempts to contact him.

Upon arriving at the interview location and now crime scene, police recovered Cloven Kennedy de-Maria's tape recorder and two torn and foul-smelling socks that appeared to have been spat out. "I've never heard anything like that," proclaimed Chief Forensic Officer Laurent Énigmatique after listening to the audio recording, "I'm absolutely terrified... but I can't wait for her EP."